My dad was diagnosed with dementia in April 2023. At the time, we knew that he was forgetful (my mom was thinking of buying AirTags for his phone/keys in May 2022), and the reason why my mom wanted to give me and Anson one of their cars was because my dad was driving a little erratically. He got into a car accident (all parties were fine), but later, they went to the hospital to get him checked out. That was when three doctors recommended that he not drive anymore as he could be a danger to himself and others. It has been downhill ever since.

Seems like each day is a new challenge. He frequently can’t find his glass, wallet, or keys. This time, it does look like he has lost his keys so we will have to make a copy of everything for him when we see them this Thursday. We just bought them AirTags to make it easier for them to find if/when this happens again. Some things are also just getting harder for him to remember how to do: turning on the stove, how to use a charger to charge his phone, unlocking the car door, etc. In his own mind, I think that he is trying to protect his family, so he goes through my mom’s stuff in her purse and hides it because they are important…but then he doesn’t remember that he does that or where he puts it. Just last month, he left the house twice and didn’t know how to get back home, and people at the hospital next door called us since they couldn’t reach my mom. We had to buy a door lock so that my dad won’t be able to leave the house in the middle of the night again.

The last time we visited was for my dad’s birthday in January and we stayed over for three nights…never again. The last night was just too much for me. I woke up 3 times for various reasons: one included my dad walking around and being afraid of ghosts in the room. I feel sorry that my mom has to be his caregiver. He usually becomes more agitated and frustrated as the night goes on and does not sleep at night and becomes restless. He does not make much sense and seems to live in his own delusions/hallucinations. We wanted to live in Camarillo because the weather is so much better than the valley, and also for us to have a little bit of space from parents, but we left the door open by buying a bigger place in case they ever needed to live with us…with my dad’s progression, I’m not sure if it would be wise if he can just walk out the door. Part of it is selfishness in which we don’t want our lives fully focused on caregiving, but part of it is also safety for him. I think we’re just taking it one day at a time. Praying for patience and endurance and compassion towards him…I’m sadly going to need it…