Quote from Downton Abbey…didn’t watch all of it, but I get the sentiment.

I feel like my life has been divided into a few sections:
1. Growing up in LA, school, work, long distance relationship, marriage, and moving up to…
2. The Bay Area for 12 years, buying our first house, mental health and work, involvement in church, developing relationships with those in the workplace/church/extended family, and ultimately leading to moving back to SoCal to…
3. Buying a house in Camarillo to be closer to family, working remotely, navigating how to take care of said family members when they’ll need more care, making new friends in a new environment, getting plugged into a new church and learning how to balance our time/energy/money in a sustainable way.

These sections of our life look a little distinct since they are in different locations, and they should. They are filled with different situations, life choices, peoples, etc, but…I don’t think that exactly means that they can’t intersect. When I lived in SFV with my parents, I would come up to the Bay Area to visit Anson. When I was in the Bay Area, I would fly down to see my parents and friends like Gina, Cindy, Weber, Crescentia, and Junior. We now live in Camarillo, and while it’s still in SoCal, it’s a little bit away from where we grew up. If we want to see people, we will still have to drive to them.

If we lived in SFV, it would make it more convenient to see people that we knew…but…truthfully, we have grown apart from most people that we knew. I do think we made the right decision in moving here. SFV is just way too hot in the summer and we would be miserable for months every year. Camarillo has great weather, good infrastructure, is well run, MIGHT have a Costco someday, not as many people (and hope to keep it that way), and we honestly were able to buy our dream house. We’ve looked on Redfin and no other house matches this one. We have made some friends in our new church in Thousand Oaks and don’t always have to drive to TO since we’ve been hosting our small group. Raymond, Steve/Shirley, and James/Char have visited us, and Cindy will be coming next week to stay over on the weekend. We’ve met some Bay Area friends in LA (Eleanor/Jeff, Yeh family, Emily/Kevin, Jo-Ann), and are going to see Mark/Jenn in a few weeks when they come to TO.

It is probably normal to drift away from people especially if you aren’t able to live life together in the same place. I understand why Gary wants our small group to meet every week since he wants the group to have fellowship/socialization and grow closer to each other…but if you have those bonds, you don’t necessarily have to see each other THAT much. And if you do that, it shrinks your social bandwidth for your other relationships, which I do NOT want to lose.

When we do visit SFV, I’ve made time to eat with Gina, Weber, and Crescentia. We are able to talk to people we knew at CCAC or New Life when we have visited, and I don’t really see that changing in the near future. When we visited the Bay Area, we caught up with church friends, extended family, and coworkers. I’m hoping that we can visit at least once every year or two. We’ve had virtual meals with both sets of parents and Anson’s extended family. Because of the rain this week, we did virtual meals with Randy/Eva and Ruth/Albert and were able to catch up with each other’s lives and talk about some spiritual things to help spur one another on. One good thing that came out of COVID was a normalizing of virtual gatherings. We just need to have the intention to reach out and keep up our relationships.

I’m probably rambling…I guess to tie this in with the title of this post…regardless of where we are in the present, whether in SFV, Santa Clara, or Camarillo, relationships with the people that matter to me are the memories that I want to cherish. Yes, it may take some work to keep them going, but isn’t that how it should be? I don’t have to wait for others to reach out, and it’s not like no one has. There have been people who have come to see us even though we are a little further away, and technology has also made our world a little bit more accessible…use it for good!

I turned 40 a few months ago. I guess I don’t really feel it (besides the weird body aches and back pain :). Since I’m probably around the halfway point, I wanted to reflect a little on my life and how it has been up till now, be honest about my current circumstances, and to delve into how I see how I should approach the future going forward.

I grew up in a Christian family with my mom sometimes filling in and speaking from the pulpit, but not really a pastor. Both my parents had minimum wage jobs, but were frugal with money, and with some help from family, they bought had a house in Reseda. I went to a Christian elementary school, and public school for both middle and high school. I only applied to one college which was CSUN, a 10 mins commute from home. Worked part time at a health food store while full-time in college. Graduated with no debt with a BS degree in Business Administration with the option of Finance. I worked at a toner company and then a testing company for 4 years before getting married and moved up to the Bay Area where we lived for 12 years.

We went to Redeemer Bible Fellowship and participated in small groups and served on and off on worship team. We made a few friends during our time up in the Bay Area. We bought a house at the end of 2013 before the market went crazy. I worked at a real estate company, an assisted living facility, a non profit helping homeless youth and their families, and finally a Christian non profit helping with drug addiction, housing for single mothers, and various homeless services. We thought that we were up in NorCal and would spend the rest of our days there…things changed.

It wasn’t an epiphany…it was more like a gradual realization that our parents would be needing more help in the future, that even though we built a life in the Bay Area and we’d be leaving our secure jobs, our extended family, our community of church friends that we’ve grown to know and love…that it would be okay and that God had a plan for our lives.

Some of the next couple paragraphs might echo my previous post, but hey, life is sometimes repetitive 🙂 It’s been a little over a year since we’ve moved down. We settled in Camarillo which is 30 mins from Aaron and Lauren, 45 mins from Anson’s parents, and 1 hr (without traffic) to my parents. We wanted to be somewhere where the city is safe and roads are clean, a place that would have great weather since we like to walk outside, and not TOO close to family in order to have a little bit of separation. We were able to buy a house much cheaper than those in the Bay Area and this one checked off almost all of our boxes (private backyard, dual sinks, concrete slab for the gym, big kitchen, etc). 

I am able to work from home for my Christian non-profit, Anson is good at using his time doing various things for church, health, and home, and we’re able to live comfortable off our assets/investments. We go to the gym twice a week, and Anson has a workout buddy that pushes him to be better. We’ve joined a Chinese church in the next city over, Thousand Oaks, and host a weekly small group. We serve on worship team once a month and are trying to make an effort to get to know more people within the church. My mom was diagonsed with stage 0 breast cancer and has had 2 surgeries. I’ll be taking her to see the oncologist next week and for us to figure out the next steps (radiation/hormone blockers). It is a blessing to be able to serve her in this way.

Presently, I don’t think I can complain about my life. How is it that God let us be in the Bay Area at the best time for us in terms of Anson’s job by getting in early and getting good options and buying a house before prices went bonkers? Was it all in his plan for us to leave SoCal 12-16 years ago just to come back for family? Why is it that we are pretty much set and don’t have to worry financially? I don’t think it is to just sip mai tais at the beach. I don’t know the answer yet, but I do know that I should try to live purposefully and try to not waste the time I have. I’ve realized that life isn’t that fun if you can’t share it with others and if you aren’t working toward kingdom goals. Now and in the future, I’m hoping to serve willingly at church, love on members of our church family and get to know (strategically) some more people, to serve my family by being cook/dishwasher/cleaner/chauffeur, and a wife that respects and follows her hubby’s leadership.

It’s pretty easy to remember exactly when we moved down…July 4th. In some ways it feel longer and shorter at the same time. I still remember going to countless hangouts to say goodbye to friends and family, how we were packing our 8 x 8 x 16 container with as many belongings as we could, breaking down the night before, crying as I swept the floors and pulled the weeds one last time before handing our house of a decade over to the new owners, driving down in 100 degree heat, staying over at the Wongs and seeing fireworks in their neighborhood, driving the next day to Camarillo to see the house we had put an offer on but was rejected, submitting a stronger offer but staying firm with the price, driving to my parents’ place, and getting a call from our agent that our offer was accepted.

We’ve missed friends up the in Bay Area, yet have gained new ones here in Ventura County. I’ve been able to work remotely for my company of almost 4 years, CityTeam. Hours have been reduced, but it has given me much more flexibility in how I can use my time productively. We have settled comfortably in a new church in Thousand Oaks, attend (and are currently hosting) a small group weekly, and serve on the worship team. Husband left Pure in October since they wouldn’t let him work from home anymore. Presently, tech has been given a reckoning and it is a little harder to thrive in software. Seems like he was able to get into tech at the best time and also leave before it went downhill. We are privileged to be in a good financial situation to not have to worry about working for money. Anson’s taking a church leadership class, is able to actively learn each day, spurs us on in our faith by making us pray and read the Bible (hopefully in a year…and a couple months), and been able to do so much for the house to make it our home.

This house came with many luxuries that we wouldn’t have dreamed of having: smart fridge, fountain, recessed and dimming lights, heated bathroom mirrors, outdoor hot tub spa, completely private backyard, 1 room on concrete slab for Anson’s gym, a master bedroom (that we haven’t moved in to) that overlooks our backyard oasis, etc. We chose Camarillo because it has some of the best weather…in the world. The Valley is in the 90s while we are 75 degrees. We are 30 mins from Aaron’s, 45 mins from the Wongs, and +1 hr from my parents. We came down to be closer to family and have approximately been seeing parents around once a month. We’ve gone back to the Bay Area twice: once for Anson to say goodbye to coworkers and second time to get my keyboard and guitar to practice for worship team. We’ve also seen the Leongs, Yehs, Chens, and Changs here, so people aren’t strangers!

Overall, I do believe we made the right decision to move back to SoCal. Our purpose should focus on how to serve and make time for our parents, friends, and the church we committed to. Hope the next year is filled with just that!

I booked a trip to Denver for a couple reasons: 1. Was looking for a domestic location since the husband won’t let us travel internationally this year (Ensenada on the cruise does not count), and I wanted to avoid LAX as much as possible. Burbank had one way tickets to Denver for $26! Was able to pay and get it credited with Capital One Points. 2. Denver International just opened a new Capital One Lounge…I love lounge hopping 🙂 I was able to use the travel credit for our ACE car rental, flights back using Southwest points, and 2 nights in Golden and 2 nights in Denver using my free nights with the IHG credit card. Both hotel had free parking and breakfast.

Denver is known to have a lot of outdoors activities. I chose Golden since it was close to hiking trails. We hiked the Red Rocks Park & Amphitheater and Green Mountain on separate days. We went to Meow Wolf and explored both downtowns in Golden and Denver (Golden by far was better). I am writing all of this at the Denver International Airport in the Capital One Lounge, loving all the food and drinks at my fingertips. As our trip is starting to wrap up, I gotta ask…do I actually like traveling?

Getting to a destination can be simply described as a pain: packing, getting to the airport, finding transportation whether by public means or a rental car, getting to your hotel, figuring out food and experience options in said destination, etc. What is it that makes me want to go thru all this hassle to hike (when I am not the best at remembering locations) and eating at Thai, Mediterranean, Hawaiian restaurants, etc. where I could probably find similar to better quality establishments in SoCal. The first day we arrived, it was also windy and raining. Inclement weather can put a damper on plans as things are ultimately not under your control. So…what makes me want to do this?

Maybe it is partially that I want to say that I’ve traveled to various places, to have a goal to see different sights, to be able to travel on the cheap and find great deals on flights, activities, food, rental cars, and hotels…I know that ultimately, all these things aren’t important. God won’t be impressed by my freebie finding and wanderlust adventures. What matters is how I can glorify him in my heart, words, and actions. I don’t think traveling is bad and will probably still wanna go to places once in a while. Maybe it’ll be more fun for both Anson and I if I let us recover before the next time 🙂

I didn’t think we’d actually go to the Bay Area so soon after going there last October 2024 when Anson said goodbye to coworkers. This time, the primary reason was so that I could pick up my guitar and keyboard so that I could practice for worship team. We were scheduled to play for Good Friday service and I was only able to practice at church.

Highlights:
Day 1: Zumba in the morning while Anson worked out with Gary, drove up to Bay Area, Anson ran with Frank while I checked out the MV library, got Tea Era for the Chans, Pokeworks for dinner, and met Anson at Mediterranean Grill House, chatted with Daniel and Kelly and family over the drinks (mango smoothie, strawberry smoothie, and pudding milk tea) staying w/ them for 2 nights, walked over to the Yeh’s house and caught up for an hour

Day 2: breakfast with the Chans (Kelly made avocado toast, fruits, and yogurt), went to Shane Co to get ring prongs adjusted, picked up Yoshinoya and ate lunch with Ruth/Albert, afternoon walk, picked up Nick the Greek (free wrap w/ UberEats!) and had dinner with Aunt Helen and Uncle Tim, night walk with Kelly

Day 3: church and lunch at RBF, talked for 3.5 hrs until voice was hoarse :/ got to know Garrett a little, hung out at the MV library until closing and picked up Mediterranean Grill House using UberEats (same price as in store, but using gift cards I purchased for 25% off and get a free baklava!) and had dinner with Uncle Kenway and Aunt Susan, packed up the guitar and keyboard, stayed with Emily and Kevin for next 2 nights

Day 4: woke up early and started hiking Mission Peak at 8am, finished at 11:30am, lunch at L&L Hawaiian BBQ (ramen and span masubi), got Paris Baguette and Teaspoon (BOGO!), picked up ring at Shane Co, got 3 packs organic brown rice and gas from Costco, and said “Hi” to Jada, Sheri, and Pilar at BWC, afternoon snacking with the Leongs, dinner at Google with Tracy (such good salmon!)

Day 5: Emily made eggs for breakfast, chatted with them (Kevin’s last day at AI company), drove back to SoCal, groceries and gas at Oxnard Costco…till next time!

Try to help our loved one be clean, safe, and comfortable
We won’t have all the answers
Try to remember that caring for our loved one is not a burden but a privilege
They are a fellow image bearer of God, and every person has both body and soul
Do not neglect your loved one
God’s grace is sanctifying
God is doing a work in us and in those we’re caring for
He comforts you so that you can comfort others
Every day, you have the privilege to display God’s glory
His power is made perfect in our weakness

Grieving with Hope
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance
It is normal hurt. It is necessary to grieve
It is ok to grieve in a fallen world
Will you trust God even when life hurts?
One goal in suffering is to keep trusting and worshiping God, beauty out of ashes
The Lord has made everything for his purpose
When I’m ready, will you use me to minister to others?

I always seem to forget that I get dizzy for a month after going on a cruise. Our last cruise was in Feb 2020 right before the world shut down. I booked that same itinerery for March 2025 🙂

On Saturday, March 1, we drove to San Pedro and stayed the night at Jo-Ann’s new condo. She and her sister, Neeta, live together with their new adopted puppy, Uni. We bought takeout from a local Thai place, and ate dinner together. On Sunday, they brought us to the Long Beach cruise terminal and we boarded our ship.

Highlights
Day 1: lunch food was so good and was a taste of what was to come, only had to check in at our muster station w/o presentation, had the adventure course all to ourselves
Day 2: Day at sea, so was a little sea sick 🙁
Glad I splurged for fast internet and had a 2 hr Signal call with my mom, dressed up for prime rib elegant night dinner, cool musical performance show
Day 3: Did our customary hike in Catalina near the Wrigley Memorial gardens
Day 4: 5 Ziplines in Ensenada! Pretty rocky road to get there, but the sights were breathtaking! First time doing such long ziplines…but not the last! Had to do fine dining for dinner again to get the molten lava cake!

It seems like we have now reached the season(s) of which we are more likely to be going to funerals/memorials rather than weddings/showers. We went to my uncles’ not long ago and last weekend, we went to our church friend, Daniel’s.

It was a celebration of life service in which it is not necessary to dress in black. It was encouraged to wear his favorite sports team outfits (I happened to wear my royal blue shirt…dodger blue!) Lowell led in worship and Pastor Tom preached a sermon. There was a time of sharing from Daniel’s friends. He loved movies, sports, talking (lol), serving in the church, and sharing Christ with others. 

Anson remembered him as his Awana leader many years ago in which memorizing verses would give him baseball and Marvel cards (from his own pocket). He cared about the kids put in his charge and even if they didn’t know Christ at that time, he wanted the seeds of the Christian faith to be planted in their hearts. I remember being in the same life group with him during my short time at New Life Church and also attending one of his Super Bowl parties where it was my first time getting heart burn because of all the great (and rich) food! Ironically, the day after this memorial service was Super Bowl Sunday. 

We hadn’t talked to him for a while since we’ve been in the Bay Area and then moved to Camarillo, but almost every time we visited New Life, we would talk briefly as he would faithfully be in the back of the room. He suffered from esophageal cancer for the last few years of his life, but he remained steadfast in his trust in God and tried to serve to his capability. 

Daniel is someone I can look up to and see how the Christian life should be lived, how the race should be run. God will say to him, “well done, good and faithful servent.” I hope to strive to be faithful and loving as him and to serve others with joy and gladness. Farewell, Daniel. See you later. Hope you enjoyed watching the Super Bowl from the sky 🙂

My dad was diagnosed with dementia in April 2023. At the time, we knew that he was forgetful (my mom was thinking of buying AirTags for his phone/keys in May 2022), and the reason why my mom wanted to give me and Anson one of their cars was because my dad was driving a little erratically. He got into a car accident (all parties were fine), but later, they went to the hospital to get him checked out. That was when three doctors recommended that he not drive anymore as he could be a danger to himself and others. It has been downhill ever since.

Seems like each day is a new challenge. He frequently can’t find his glass, wallet, or keys. This time, it does look like he has lost his keys so we will have to make a copy of everything for him when we see them this Thursday. We just bought them AirTags to make it easier for them to find if/when this happens again. Some things are also just getting harder for him to remember how to do: turning on the stove, how to use a charger to charge his phone, unlocking the car door, etc. In his own mind, I think that he is trying to protect his family, so he goes through my mom’s stuff in her purse and hides it because they are important…but then he doesn’t remember that he does that or where he puts it. Just last month, he left the house twice and didn’t know how to get back home, and people at the hospital next door called us since they couldn’t reach my mom. We had to buy a door lock so that my dad won’t be able to leave the house in the middle of the night again.

The last time we visited was for my dad’s birthday in January and we stayed over for three nights…never again. The last night was just too much for me. I woke up 3 times for various reasons: one included my dad walking around and being afraid of ghosts in the room. I feel sorry that my mom has to be his caregiver. He usually becomes more agitated and frustrated as the night goes on and does not sleep at night and becomes restless. He does not make much sense and seems to live in his own delusions/hallucinations. We wanted to live in Camarillo because the weather is so much better than the valley, and also for us to have a little bit of space from parents, but we left the door open by buying a bigger place in case they ever needed to live with us…with my dad’s progression, I’m not sure if it would be wise if he can just walk out the door. Part of it is selfishness in which we don’t want our lives fully focused on caregiving, but part of it is also safety for him. I think we’re just taking it one day at a time. Praying for patience and endurance and compassion towards him…I’m sadly going to need it…

It was a normal Wednesday morning, but pretty windy outside, so since we woke up early, we decided to go to the gym. After a short workout, we left the gym and smelled a little smoke outside. When we went home, we could sort of see some smoke in the distance. I get notifications on my Ring app, and others were talking about a fire out in Somis/Moorpark area. A few mins later, there was an update that the fire had jumped the 118 freeway and made its way to Camarillo. I downloaded a fire watch app called Watch Duty by then since I was starting to get worried.

Winds picked up, 20 miles, then 30, then 40. We were packing by 10-11am as some areas were told to evacuate. Anson packed our documents, and I packed various things like food, personal hygiene stuff, my scrapbook I made when we were dating, our sermon notes, etc. I didn’t exactly know what I was packing…what is most important when you think it will all be gone that day?

The fire made national news and a few people we knew from LA and the Bay Area reached out. The first was Anson’s dad. We evacuated to their house around noon. Our area was on a red flag alert and firefighters were going door to door telling people that they had to leave. Getting out of Camarillo was a little backed up but orderly. Thankfully, the power at our house was back on around 3pm and I was able to use the Ring camera to see that our neighborhood seemed like it was still standing. Even though we were told to evacuate, our neighbors in front were there that night. 

We stayed two nights at Anson’s parents’ place, but we didn’t want to overstay our welcome and also wanted to make sure our home wouldn’t be broken into, so we came back on Friday morning. There were some streets that had barriers to close it off, but we found other streets open in order to get back to our house. Found out later that our other neighbors to the back (former firefighter) and to the right never left. 

Almost 200 homes were destroyed in the fire. Most of them were in more remote areas, but Camarillo Heights was still the area hit hardest. Looking at the map, our house was about 2000 ft from the fire (less than 1/2 mile). I feel sorry for those who have lost their homes, yet thankful that our house did not burn down. We only moved here 4 months ago, so in a way, I didn’t feel like this house had many memories for us as I did about Foley, but it would still be a hurtful loss. Would we be okay if we did lose it? We are stewards of all that God has given to us. He can give, and He can take away. Thank you, God, for protecting our earthly home. Help us to not rely on our own strength as we have little control and know that nothing in this life will last. Pray that we will store up treasures in heaven and to know that on this earth, we are just passing thru.