God has given me my personality and my talents. It is no good to compare what others have to what I have. I need to know my shortcomings and my strengths. What matters is how you use your talents and to not waste them. How can I use my life to help others that are in my sphere of influence? I am in the unique position of having more time than others, and I should not squander that opportunity. I want to be able to love others and not feel like I need something in return. The people that I mostly gravitate to are probably those who feel more on the fringe, those who don’t always fit in or have as many social graces. Perhaps that is because that is sometimes how I feel I am like. 

My dad’s side of the family has some issues with mental health. I think I can relate to it being that I can’t take too much pressure (examples are my breakdowns at Maxreal and BWC). It makes me feel inadequate. Why is it that others can stand the pressure and I cannot? In a way, it helps me recognize that I cannot stand on my own strength. I should still try to make use of time in a way that glorifies God. In the meantime, what I should try to do is be more in God’s word daily, read books, avoid entertainment that does not edify/wastes time, reach out to different friends down in LA or other church friends on my days off. Live this life well and live it for God. Easier said than done, but should just take it one step at a time.